Rapes in Delhi- When will this stop???

Why is Delhi/Noida the rape capital of India? Every week there has to be a rape/molestation case reported in TOI. Not too sure if this has to do anything with the qutub minar's physical location being delhi and Delhites interpretation of it being any different from known historians but

My gut feeling says maybe some men in Delhi have an extra testicle or probably they simply rub testosterone on their parathas every morning. 

Here is the little summary:

Everyone without a penis from an MD to a maid,

who does not wish to get laid even after being offered to get paid,

will get raped! Fuck Sad!

2012 and the fucking capital is unsafe for women despite having  sheela dixit and  sonia gandhi out there. Cmon Rapists... while most of the country danced to sheela ki jawani and you are my Sonia you took it quite literally dint you? 

(note: Names have been used in small case to intentionally showcase disrespect. Come get me sibal my fellow kabootars are waiting for target bombing practice against hostile guerrillas )). I dint want to list down the week on week cases as reported, but if you've been reading you knw what i'm saying. 

I wonder if they have tweaked the pledge for delhi boys schools to sound like:

India is my country all Indians are my brothers and sisters,

but God cant help the fact that I dont mind being a painnchod and the rest ka kya karna hai???

Sorry delhi boys, god gave you bulk, fair skin and stuble stretching down to your pubes but when you try your google translate empowered punjabi pick up lines it kinda negates the desired effect. If you think your dick is mighty enough lets talk to the defense ministry to introduce a Lund regiment for you guys where you stab the bad guys with your most misused organ.

The horniness in delhi couldn't escape fiction either. How the fuck in hell would an ugly looking paunchy guy get the balls to nail a moderately hot professor's daughter at his residence? I'm talking about chetan bhagat's 5 point some one- it had to be in IIT-Delhi. Granted the girl too was involved but for those who have under life threat or voluntarily read the book know that chetan's protagonist always had the intention to have sex while the girl who had lost her brother was looking at filling in the void.

Where does the love for vagina end? Seemingly never. Its like if you rape a lady figure proportionate to your social stature its simple sex but if you exceed your aukad then we call it rape. So we hear Driver rapes BPO employee, school Girl raped by college boys, 53 year old raped and killed by servant etc. 

Without prejudice the chauvinism has been carried forward to the larger lady figure our very own Bharat mata and  Delhi has relentlessly fucked everything of national interest. Kalmadi did his best to rape the Common wealth games but the media foiled what the CIA couldn't. Thats one, for extra knowledge you must google for reasons beyond mere scoring high at Group discussions for entry into MBA colleges.

Generally Delhi would rank high on horniness, globally. The number of rapes and the brutality of each is as good as the pre Ice age form of living known to man.

By the way Delhi ain't that bad. The infrastructure is an example for the rest of India. I mean where else can you possibly rape some one in a moving Car with fucked up roads.  So kudos! Till you rot hell!

I support this man's views. So should you. 

For any delhite reading this. In your defense you might want to quote stats of other states but thats not the point Im making. Unless TOI is making shit up you know what Im trying to say.

CYRUS MISTRY LOOK ALIKE

CYRUS MITY LOOKS LIkE MANU SHARMA- (Jessica lal murderer)

Open Letter to Zaid Hamid

Dear Zaid Hamid, 

If in any form material or abstract, This planet could do its bit to show its gratitude to the seamen that lubricates your throat,the Pope would probably do a lap-dance for Paris Hilton; for that alone has empowered your rise to fame, your ability to relentlessly use your Vocal Chords. 

You Sir have joined the esteemed league of Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black 

1. for making it big via the Internet using your Globally substandard and Ethnically superior Oratory skills

2. for sounding like a 14 yr old wanting to pull down the pantie of a 18 yr old 

With due respect to your followers who conferred Knighthood upon you with the non islamic title "Sir" I will carry the same forward throughout the letter (Note: in my case it is to be considered a shorter version of "SirFira") 

I understand you come from a Islamic GiJoe family with your ancestry rooting back to the favorite Lion poo cleaner at the court of Babur(he too was a soldier), to your father who worked as a trainer to young British immigrant kids on the use of combat knives to make kebabs across different terrains. Despite having the military Olive green blood Flowing to your testicles through your yet-to-be-tracked brains You Sir were rejected from the (wait a minute) Pakistan Army??? and under the sorry excuse of eyesight??? How could they simply piss on your the fire of your desire? Deemed inappropriate for combat operations You Sir at the age of 22 set out to confront your post menstrual mood swings and undertook the daring Afghan Jihad and drove the soviets all the way back to Moscow all this without direct divine help (no saviors on white horses, No Sylvester Stallone from Rambo, no Tom Hanks from Charlie Wilson's War giving you stinger missiles)  and your squint vision. Not surprisingly the soviets crumbled. Prior to that Sir, you did manage to pass your Engineering from Najayeez Kasai Institute of Bomb making and Kalashnikov Repairing. But at the age of 22 you set out for glory and spent the next 6 years as a stone age man in the Tora Bora caves of Afghanistan. Fighting with the soviets as a supporting function to the Afghan Jihad you relentlessly pleased the tired jihadis with your motivational speeches and as a make do apparatus for their Libido control. You will be rewarded a few hundred Virgins (probably cattle) in heaven.

Zaid Hamid at his best

Now at the age of 28 that you returned a tired fighter and no real work experience to back your engineering degree. You worked as a security technician fitting camera and fire alarms in the very few Pakistani companies who actually could afford these. Being turned down as a spokesperson cum security analyst  by the Taliban, Lashkar-e-Taiba and the other local governing bodies of your "Mulk" you Sir continued to battle the odds. Despite the post War syndrome taking a dangerous turn into schizophrenia, your determination and unknown source of funding seen you found Brasstacks a Security analyst firm.

Deprived from the world like an Indian Shudhra in the 1800s you made your schizophrenia a shield of Hope for all the mislead, ill Informed Pakistani youth. Joining your cause were the out of the lime light Ali Azmat and Maria B finding ways to get their faces back on PTv. In you they confide and with you they'll swim through the tide. While CIA, RAW and Mossad agents were to busy conspiring against the state of Pakistan the issue you have closely monitored, you built your Counter intelligence services to gain access to first hand information across troubled zones. They  worked day and night in invisible mode only to send you pictures and videos of the Non-circumcised Penis of all these Zionist agents working against your interests in Baluchistan and Waziristan. These images and home shot videos, you broadcasted on the Media of Jewish Origin- Facebook, youtube, twitter and Google. Your  bum-chum Ali Azmat also went to the extent of calling John Lenon a CIA agent and inspiring the world to tune their guitars to a Zionist frequency so eventually the Neo-Con-Zionist regimes would take over the Oil cause frankly after that why would they be interested?

Not to mention your testimony in Lahore family court where you accused your now estranged wife of physically eloping with an Indian RAW agent. The bollywood (gangster movie inspired, formulated in Tel Aviv and financed by the CIA ) plot to get into the soft books of Mrs. Zaid Hamid and do her in broad day light was to simply realise the "Pakistan ki Maa chodni hai" dream. And as planned your wife's deprivation due to your retardation, acknowledged the marginally better Spicy Indian Penis and dumped you. The RAW agent was all tears, choked with guilt but Ali Azmat was reported to have bought extra supply of Vaseline to cement your strategic ties.

Sir your think tank (the Russian confiscated one) accuses RAW of everything including cases of miscarriages and erectile dysfunctions across Pakistan, the only justification would be, Indian agents poisoning the Indus water that flows into those regions. Brilliant!!! only you could converge geography, biology, geo- politics and History.

The list of your manufactured conspiracy theories could be frozen in time with a book called "Fantasies of a Retarded Jihadi"

Now that you plan on Hoisting the flag on the Red fort of Delhi, let me wish you luck after winning in Panipat that is. Your approach is inspired by Hitler without a shadow of doubt, Like you he too first got hold of the youth and then went on to do what he did but what you are forgetting is they were Germans and relied on education and technology, Hitler dint promise his people Men on white horses with swords fighting their enemies. Granted the Indian army ain't the best in the world but your men on horses would fall to their snipers after all.

If you stop collecting funds to aid your mentally challenged cause you could find employment as a clown in a western country. Take my word for it- Do it Now. And ya stop thinking of yourself as important enough to be assassinated by an intelligence agency Just because you'r self proclaimed alter ego calls himself a security analyst the one who nobody acknowledges including the Pakistani media. Granted you are the elite of your country. You know after all how to use a laptop, log on to google, create facebook pages, tweet and allow only approved comments on your rant videos on youtube still a 4th grade kid does that else where. Honestly nobody gives a fuck you know what the rest of the world has things to do like Work, Career, Jobs, family etc.

Trust me Sir start following Hassan Nisar, Pervez Hoodbhoy, Najam Sethi, Asghar Khan and sometime Imran Khan.

To conclude I would want to say: आपके पागलपन की वजह से, कही आपका IqBal का पाकिस्तान एक बाल का पाकिस्तान न हो जाये.


Jaate Jaate ek Sher

एक शेर अर्ज़ करता हु SIR:

आपके अल्फाजो में है क्या जादू??? आपके अल्फाजो में है क्या जादू???

बस तू मु खोल और में पादू.. dhooooooooooooooooooooooooos 

Love you Spam

To a Bitter-twitter, non MBA world, I thought of sparing you the agony of reading Arindham Chaudhry’s books on marketing in a first of its kind attempt to logically end the dispute of what Spam sells and what it doesn’t. Actually and factually everything sells. India by length, breadth, width and depth is a marketer’s dream canvas; you can without guilt, pound naïve masses with offerings of neo-physical importance less to the disappointment of the seller, the hope driven, eager to be uplifted Indian mind never disappoints. This isn’t only about celebrity spam; Jackie Shroff selling  ‘suraksha kawach’ at unearthly hours on TVC sky shop (following which he bagged the prestigious role in Dev Anand’s Chargsheet) and Arindham Chaudhry promising you a flourishing career with Free trips to the moon but about  all those people falling prey to the unknown Dick-enlarging, Wealth distributing, Match Making, Free MBA degree gifting, Jobs giving good Samaritans.

If you go by my inbox, you can wake up in a garage (not having seen a shooting star the previous night) and by night leave for Hawai islands to spend the rest of my life as millionaire playboy. All I’d have to do is pay $10 to add a few inches to break out of the great Indian small dick taboo, take a chunk of Bill Gates’ wealth being transferred to me via his illegitimate offspring in desolated parts of Africa, get in touch with the thermometer breaking, Hot and lonely singles in the vicinity looking for fun and fraandship. Not too sure how I would diplomatically say NO to Sergey and Larry, Narayanmurthy, Azim premji, Ratan Tata and the less persuasive Bill gates, all chasing me with job offers; Obviously for a six digit Indian salary. Few clicks away the cookie crumbles and if you rank slightly above the normal internet IQ you could set a filter in gmail to auto-delete/skip repetitive spammers.

The point is most part of the opportunity deprived populace carries a deep rooted urge of being saved by superman, and a local or Nigerian super-spammer-man gets you by your gut and makes you pay for it. Year on Year thousands of Indians fall prey to especially job-scandals and the best deals on Viagra (we will discuss that separately). Mails promising you job interviews in TCS, Infosys, Wipro, Microsoft, Google, Oracle, SUN etc. always ask you to deposit some amount in some PO Box number not used since the 1972 blockbuster Victoria No. 203. The more tech-savvy spammers would go the extra mile to register similar sounding domains (ex: www.jobsintatamotors.com). For as little as Rs. 1500 you can start fetching profiles from jobsites and monetizing every bit of information which is resold to marketers and spammers (by the way both are to be treated separately). WTF???

The Man Who can Save the country

Lets face it we are a nation who enjoy cheap thrills. Time and again we rejoice beating Pakistan in the world cup, Feel happy when the United States makes an anti Pakistan statement and go conveniently soft when questioned about China's growing aggression. Like the Joker in Batman said, "What happened ??? Did your balls drop off??" Little has changed since independence and our benaami democracy has triumphed more by chance than by choice.

All ruling parties of Maharashtra have done little besides vomiting on each other, conducting mass rallies of uneducated/deprived audiences, changing names of places, and the best commercial effort came by Shiv-Sena : the launch of Shiv-Vada pav. Mind you before the nephew cub went on with his anti north Indian rant, The same propaganda was a Shiv Sena Initiative. Never mind so they are united in their intentions and divided in their actions. despite this all stall operators of the Jumbo King competition continue to be North Indians. Cheap Labour you see. One regime made the difference Victoria terminus changed to chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, Under the threat of violence scared Ronald was forced to incorporate  मच्डोनाल्द  with his original McDonald. I was surprised MNS men dint go mad with abnormalities with the Barakhadi.  Then Sharad Pawar and his Gang, and the forever hibernating congress everyone came together only to witness farmar after farmer continued to hang himself, That Naxalisim spread to pockets of Maharasthra and under the 40 ft banner of India shinning men continued to shit in the open for lack of sanitation.

For all going gaga over the development in Gujarat, and Hailing The US visa reject Narendra Modi as a coming of the next Prime Minister. It is so convenient to forget the massacre that still haunts the minority community in that state. Modi made development happen, So did Nitish Kumar ( and FilmyKabootar grades him in higher regard given the state of his state) But isn't development precisely the reason we elect these lathergic men to rule us? If modi has done development it is his Job to do so and personally for him it could mean redemption from the slaughter he sanctioned. (My statements are based on videos on youtube), People hail modi cause everybody else is too busy Milking Mother India. These guys love breast feeding dont they??? They'll suck for blood when mother India is out of Milk.

So I said we are a people of cheap thrills and small joys.

Anna Hazare Looked like hope but than the Lokpal was more of Jokepal reality show. Manipur Activist Sharmila Chanu has been fasting for 10 years 

Follow the link here

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/109728/manipur-activist-sharmila-completes-ten.html

and all India TV has to show is pigeons getting shot (even if it was oen of our fraternity stil... wtf???)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qNOIK4NNnY

why is there No media coverage for this Woman? Shiv Sena Men will strip down to their underwear in front of dilipkumar's house to protest against a pro-Lesbian movie, Will burn  buses in lieu of misplaced punctuations and grammatical errors, The south will fight for changing Names and over water but no-one will stand in solidarity with causes really confronting the nation.

Filmy Conclusion

Creation can be divided in 3 colours:

Black: the political, Industrial and Gangster class

White: Birds, animals and Trees

Shades of Grey: the Common Man (Mango person aka aam aadmi)

Jokes apart in all consideration the only hope left is this Man, Such is the leadership we need:

Anil Kapoor In Nayak

we need a chrachter like this one

Filmy Face Recognition Algorithim

Twins
1 Dalit
1 Brahman
How come???

Heroes of the Lokpal Protest

Why the Lokpal is becoming a JokePal?

Presenting to you, the Clowns of Lokpal

1. Aridham Chaudhry gave a speech at the Ramlila Maidan

when self procliamed Management Gurus start supporting the lokpal, there is reason to worry.

FK: Why is he dressed up like a chick?

    2. Rahul Gandhi Distributed Samosas

वैसे थो आम आदमी के रोटी तक खा जाते है ...और फटने पे समोसे बात रहे हो सर्कार
FK: चन्न समोसों की मदद से देश को खरीदने निकला था हराम्ज्यादा..... है! (amitabh bachan style)

    3. Manoj Tiwari showed up

Dude Seriously!!! My guess is some one Tricked him into this saying it was a political rally of UP/Bihar. 
His only other credentials would be making songs like Seher ki tittli (www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ2AOgwi9sY)
FK: Next time Guddu Rangila Puhleeej

    4.  Om Puri the 155mm howitzer
so what if he was drunk, he spoke his heart out I was actually expecting a Bhencod/Madarchod somewhere in his rant none the less Lokpal or No Om puri proved why actors who come from a theatre background always excel

FK: 21 Cannon Salute for the below satement

  आधे से ज्यादा नेता अनपढ़, जाहिल और गावर है

Conclusion:
- The tainted Management Guru gave his Idiotic Management Gyan
- The politician tried to win hearts with cheap freebies
- The Singer sang (I was actually expecting Bappi Lahiri, he has an innate nack of making situational songs)
- The actor showcased his theatrics


SOme people refuse to stay out of the lime light, Presence of audience is always an opportunity for cheap/ free publicity and we seen it Live, minute by minute coverage.