Dear Poonam Pandey [Hot (not) and (not) Sexy]

Dear Poonam Pandey,

Lets just say pollution accelerates mutation (Your twitter profile says your 19 and most of the years you've spent without clothes so my best estimate is- you haven't stepped into college yet. So to explain mutation to you here it goes -Mutation is a phenomenon significant to many aspects of life on Earth and is one of the principal means by which evolutionary change takes place). Never before in my recent memory had I seen anything like yourself, a sardine with the udders of a cow, Now that is a genetic case study. To your credit you  have single handedly transformed the masculine stereotype of a 'Pandey'. Before the world cup a Pandey would invoke a visual caricature of a dhoti, one ball scratching hand and dripping paan which you have successfully changed to strings, kerchiefs and silicon sculpture blend this with the very Indian 'Poonam' meaning full moon; an object of religious significance across faiths. This makes you the only worthy face of the subcontinent for reasons being:

1. Your first name represents an object respected by the two most dominant faiths
2. Nudity was an integral part of Ancient Indian culture. (Pay a visit to Ajanta Ellora caves for further clarification)
3. With your boobs come your bones, symbolic of the wealth and poverty and starvation prevalent in the sub continent
4. Lastly like Mahatma Gandhi you decided to stop wearing clothes for the nation.

Besides you are the next generation girl and the most downloaded model from India surpassing John Abraham and Milind soman the champs of the last two decades.Times are changing and how! The male dominated industry is finally paying its dues to the ladies and you honey are the catalyst of change(some times meaning chillar).

Your success comes at a time when online porn is available for free which is commendable. just shows the indian audience love for ravishing the anti climax(in your context the last patch of cloth hiding your real gender). 

Twitter is but a movie credits screen without you and at times KRKs kamakazee micro-blogging showcase. Your tweethearts from over the world and under the sea are testimonies to your ability to induce a hormonal avalanche through text and images. 

For all the accolades you've earned. It burns my heart when people use derogatory and defamatory adjectives in  reference  to your profession. If chetan Bhagat can be an author, Rahul Gandhi can aspire to be the PM then you too can be a model. Trust me Titanic would never sink had Jack and rose been MF hussain and Poonam Pandey both would do what they do best, nobody would have spied on you and the guards would have been more vigilant, but thats gone.

If Kanit Shah had the money He'd cast you in his version of the Titanic: Tight and panic

I Dont know what the world says to you but your fame is symbolic. Lets just call it Rise of the Transgenders

Respct!