Sunday, January 23, 2011

how bollywood has changed over the years... part 1

Winds of change

Bollywood has undergone some serious revival and in the words of the world has become BOLD; Bold in the sense now they show a kiss as a kiss without reason but still, they show Indian chicks in actual bikinis and not trunks and banyans like they earlier did, Also they even talk about SEX like a word you can use on screen and not feel the burden of betraying morality, Good amount of movies also show love making scenes at least so you should guess from the expressions on the womans face which says either “Retake Please” Or  “Mr. Director no retake on this on please”. Our hunks try too hard onscreen.
 The lip locking bug that stung bollywood since the last 4-5 years, has fostered in an era of liberation for artists so every time there is a conscious effort to make the script demand a lip locking scene irrespective of what’s happening in the background. If only Raj Kapoor lived to see this day, Hugh Hefner would have been less popular besides battling a hostile takeover of his playboy empire by a Desi Playboy. Coming back to the lip locking here’s a coincidence I cannot miss, both Lord Kisser and Lady Kisser of our generation have ape like Jaw lines: Imraan Hashmi and Mallika Sherawat, So Murder the movie was More like Brother Sister from a different mother in bed together . Not nice, our culture does not approve but then they only protest the art of obscenity.
Now to the Bikini, after Raj Kapoor a couple of decades missed the aesthetics of swim wear especially the bikini. Attempts were made to somehow get women in swim suits so the late 80’s to early 90’s ensured every actresses’ debut had her showing some skin usually in the boring one piece swim suit the trend then was to grab the lime light and next time on make the same thing pricy. Much similar to how software companies today give free trials and then make you pay a bomb. Anyways coming back on track women have grown from voluptuous to slim so swim wear has moved from covering to now blending. All pre release rumours and hoards of stories do rounds of channels and tabloids of the love making scenes and how a particular actress has very comfortably executed the script. What they don’t tell you is what you don’t want to see, like, when Mallika Sherawat Starrer Khwaish was due for release all campaigns yelled the 14 odd kissing scenes, for this I so wanted to watch the film, what the campaigns dint tell is, I’d have to see Himanshu Mallik in Underwear also,
that is something I wouldn’t want to do at gunpoint; Still Five stars for Marketing. When tashann was due for release the idea of seeing kareena kapoor in a bikini send goose bumps to atleast half a billion Indians, but when they movie released the anorexia pretty much killed the excitement.

In almost all movies released in the last couple of years Kissing scenes and Bikini clad chicks make headlines before they crystallise on the release dates, now a day’s even political wings have stopped protesting, Nobody can afford malls and multiplexes running out of business.
Beyond chicks bollywood has become bold when it comes to Pakistan, After Border they’ve shown a neighbouring hostile nation as Pakistan unlike tehelka (1992) when the neighbouring hostile nation was a small hamlet called DONGRILLA ruled by a dictator called DONG whose commanders conversed with each other with one party raising the right hand to say BOM CHICK BOM BOM and the other with the same enthusiasm replied by LONG LIVE DONG.


To be continued................

Friday, January 21, 2011

Hollywood Vs Bollywood >> War Movies

Russell Peters was spot on when he said a Bollywood hero gets shot in Delhi and dies somewhere in chennai, and its not like he walks there ... he's dying along the way... 
Most bolly actors can easily digest and recover from more bullets than Arnold Schwarzenegger did in Terminator. I mean who needs Science Fiction? Our actors can do it with 
determination alone.
Everyone who thinks Tom Hanks saved some private called Ryan, 
Should bare in mind: Suneil Shetty is taking offence, This man
blew up a Tank single handedly that too after being shot some 
seven hundred and thirty six times he still managed to walk upto 
tank with an anti tank mine and strategically place
the explosive, WOW!! Granted they were fighting in different

terrains but still a desert is lot more nasty than an urban
landscape and SunEEl deserves a special seat in valor circles.

The Difference really is Tom Hanks was Saving Private Ryan 
with a bunch of other soldiers-
TEAMWORK;
while in BORDER case Suneil was Just the trailer of the Indian arsenal 
hiding the real Weapon of Mass Destruction --> Sunny Deol 
the duo eventually blew up an entire tank thrust. With a little air support 
from Jaggu Dada; FIGHHHHHHT!!!



Despite Hollywood's obsession with saving the world they still 
manage to barge into uninvited international affairs and make 
movies out of it. None the less they do a good job of keeping it
technically sound. Not bad!!! Sylvester Stallone alone fought in 
all major US wars, despite the perpetual confusion on which side
he belonged to, he flamboyantly managed to beat the bad guys
with Bows and Arrows ( Now, I'm beginning to wonder if he went
back to Afghanistan to make Rambo 5 He'd have to shoot that 
kid he gave his pendant to in Rambo 3), Old is Gold I say!!!
Not Bad the Dude still used Weapons and fought on war fronts.
Nothing like Sunnny Paaji though, Think about it an unarmed 
lethargic Punjabi munda had himself smuggled to Pakistan, 
Fought their Bureaucracy with an Uprooted hand pump
( I wonder what a hand Pump was doing outside a parliament house? 
Maybe it was to say -Pakistan is still stoneage) 
Annihilated the entire army chasing him with horses, Jeeps, 
Helicopters, UFOs and determined hatred and still managed to 
smuggle his wife and kid back to India. :( 
This kind of action would put Leonidas the King of Sparta to shame,
He had 300 warriors to fight an army.
We had ONE WMD fight a Nation 
(all parts of the government machinery included)





It would be brain crunching
to predict what Runs through the minds of our movie makers? 
But so long as it sells Who cares??

To Summarize the difference between Holly and Bolly:
Hollywood banks on How to depict technology and strategy to
translate Fantasies to believable facts 
Bollywood on the other end simply relies on the 
BICEPS of the Character playing HERO!!! 


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Like Father-Unlike Son

Not a blarring example of my Wisdom to come up with a Blog post with virtually non existent keywords, but for the love of Nepotisim I brainstormed this time with a little assistance from the all vegetarian-- Rambo junior (Name changed for insecurity reasons :p )
Note: I could have made a Ranking but then each superhero must be given his space So a list!!!




Shadaab Khan Son of Amjad khan:Acted in very forgettable movies such as Raja ki Ayegi Baraat, Refugee abd the rest ......NEVERMIND Any attempt to Google Image search this name will almost everytime return Rani Mukherjee 




   
Puru Rajkumar Son of Raj Kumar(जानी हम वो है जो पानी पे चलते है और हवा में टहलते है )Debuted with  Bal Bramhachari opposite Karishma kapoor, where she plays this "Love me machoman" woman. He did show up in a few movies after that... was playing Shadow in the screenplay.... so not many would remember him. Then on he has disappeared in the wilderness.









Tushar Kapoor Son of Jitendra (and only because of his children we know his surname>> to be) KapoorI would Love to say a lot, but then Sunil Pal the great comedian has left nothing for me to say.




Bobby Deol Son of Dharmendra - He is still New to the industry we have to give him some Time 










Fardeen Khan Son of Feroze Khan- In a tete-a-tete with Celina Jaitely on the sets of Jaanasheen: Aaanchii (Aunty) mujhe bhi !!!! :)









Shahid Kapur Son of Pankaj Kapur- Unfortunately he will always be a boy with big bisceps who salvaged Deciduous relationships singing O makanaveeeee!!!! ( in my knowledge- thats a song dedicated to Butter).










HONORARY MEMBERSHIP
Esha Deol daughter of Hema Deol???- Carrying the genes of Her half brother with a dhaee (2.5 kgs | 5.5 Lbs) kilo ka haath Esha deol will always be remembered for her 2.5 kilo ka forehead






 Finally
Abhishek Bacchan husband of Aishwarya Rai: His all time box office Hit --> Idea 3 G commercial.

 Anxiously Awaited OffSprings

Mimoh Son of Mithun

Adhyaman Suman Son of Shekhar Suman

Adam Bedi Son of kabir Bedi

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hail Kanti Shah

Existence of forces is Dual in nature: Not surprisingly The west got speilberg and we(Indians) were blessed with Kanti Shah. To be the best is one thing and to be the Emperor of crap is another. If Bollywood wasn't churning out enough Crap as it is Kanti Joined the Bandwagon.

Below is a list of his contribution to humanity:

Sheela ki Jawani (2010) | Lage Raho Partner (2009) | Gabbar Singh (2007) | Free Entry (21 April 2006) | Marna Zaroori Hai (2006) | Angoor (4 November 2005) | Garam (11 February 2005) | Darwaza (26 September 2003) (Released) | Shaadi Basanti ki Honeymoon Gabbar ka (2002) | Duplicate Sholay ( 2002) | Meri Jung Ka Elaan (2000) | Daku Ramkali (2000) | Jallad No.1 (2000) | Gunda (1998) | Munnibai (1999) | Loha (1997) | Rangbaaz (1996) | Veer (1995) | Aag Aandhi Aur Toofan (1994) | DrEeshu- Ek Anokhi Pyaari Kahaani (2010) 


Kanti shah should be nicknamed KRANTI shah or fostering in an era of fantasy porn and letting his wife be the front woman of all his creations... WoW WoW - liberal, New age, Broadminded film-maker